You’re standing at the gate with a 15-month-old, a nappy bag, a carry-on, and a husband who is already looking at you like “what do we do?” The gate agent has just called family boarding. And you have absolutely no idea whether to go now or wait it out.
This question comes up constantly in the Tots in Tow community, and for good reason. There’s no universally right answer. But there is a smarter way to think about it. Here’s everything you need to know before your next flight.
Why the Question Even Exists
Airlines offer family boarding as a perk. Priority access, more time to settle in, first pick of overhead bin space. On paper, that sounds great.
But here’s the reality: the moment you step on that plane with a toddler, the clock starts ticking. Every minute they’re strapped in and going nowhere is a minute of patience you’re burning before you’ve even left the ground. That’s a lot of pressure on a tiny human who has no idea why they can’t move.
Boarding last flips the model. Less time on the plane. More time burning energy at the gate. By the time you sit down, you’re basically straight into taxi and takeoff and if you’re lucky, that movement rocks them to sleep before you hit altitude.
Both approaches have real merit. The trick is knowing which one fits your situation. Because when it comes to flying with kids, there’s never a concrete answer.
The Case for Boarding Last
For most families with babies and toddlers, boarding last is the move. Here’s why it works.
Less time in the seat means less time to get restless. A 15-month-old sitting still on a plane for 40 minutes before the doors even close is a 15-month-old who has already used up half their patience reserves. Save that goodwill for the flight itself.
You can do a final nappy change. One last fresh nappy in a proper airport bathroom beats doing it in that tiny aircraft toilet with a lap tray and no dignity. Use the time wisely.
The aisle is mostly clear. When you board last, the boarding scrum is over. People are seated. You’re not navigating past a queue of strangers while holding a squirming baby and a bag that keeps slipping off your shoulder.
One parent can go ahead. This is the move that makes boarding last genuinely easy: send your partner on during family boarding with all the bags and gear. They grab the seats, sort the overhead bin, get everything set up. Then you walk on at the last minute with just the baby. You’re on the plane for maybe five minutes before the doors close.
Several parents in our community swear by exactly this setup. One mum put it simply: “Least amount of time on the plane, the better.” Another described the difference between her two flights: going first, she held her son for 40 minutes before the doors closed and he was already miserable. Coming back, they boarded last, played with a card during the safety briefing, and he was asleep before takeoff.
That’s not luck. That’s strategy.
The Case for Boarding First
There are real situations where family boarding is the smarter call. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Overhead bin space matters to you. If you’re boarding last on a full flight, there’s a decent chance the bins above your seat are gone. Your bags end up rows away, and every time you need something during the flight you’re doing the awkward “sorry, sorry, excuse me” shuffle. If you’ve packed a proper activity bag and need it accessible, that’s genuinely inconvenient. Some families solve this by having one parent board early specifically to claim the overhead space.
You’re travelling with a car seat. Installing a car seat on a plane takes time and space. You don’t want to be doing that with a full plane watching. Board early, get it in properly, and you’ll be glad you did.
You have a high-energy toddler who actually does better with transition time. Some kids need time to explore the seat, look out the window, figure out the tray table. Boarding early gives them a chance to get familiar before the noise and movement starts. One parent in our group described their daughter saying hi to virtually every passenger as they boarded — she was perfectly settled by the time the doors closed.
You’re flying solo. Single parents don’t have the luxury of the split strategy. If it’s just you and your child, getting on early and getting sorted without the pressure of a full plane behind you can be worth every minute of the wait.
The Split Strategy (The Best of Both Worlds)
This is the approach that comes up again and again in the community, and it’s genuinely excellent for two-parent trips.
One parent boards during family boarding with all the bags, the car seat if you’re using one, and anything that needs to go in the overhead bin. They get the seats sorted, put the bags away, and get comfortable.
The other parent stays at the gate with the baby. They keep them moving, entertained, and out of a confined seat for as long as possible. Right before the last boarding call, they head on.
You get the overhead space. You get the short seat time. You both win.
A Few Things Worth Knowing Before You Fly
Check your airline’s family boarding policy. Some airlines offer it automatically, some you have to ask for, and some have specific age cut-offs. Worth knowing before you’re standing at the gate making a snap decision.
Have your in-flight bag ready. Whether you board first or last, make sure the things you’ll actually need during the flight — snacks, a dummy, a small toy, wipes — are in a bag under the seat rather than in the overhead bin. You don’t want to be climbing over people to get to your carry-on every 20 minutes.
Nurse or bottle-feed at takeoff if you can. The sucking motion helps with ear pressure during ascent. A lot of parents time this deliberately for take-off, and it works a treat.
Suction toys are your best friend. A spinner or suction-cup toy stuck to the tray table can buy you a surprising amount of peaceful flight time. Highly recommended by basically every parent who’s ever tried one.
Two hours is genuinely manageable. If you’re flying for the first time with a baby and feeling nervous: a two-hour domestic flight with two adults is one of the easier versions of this challenge. You’ve got backup, the flight is short, and you’ll be on the ground before you know it.
So, Which Should You Choose?
For a two-hour domestic flight with a 15-month-old and two adults: board last. Have your husband go ahead with the bags during family boarding, then walk on at the very end with your little one. Change the nappy right before you board. Keep the activity bag under the seat. Feed at takeoff if you can.
You’ll be fine. Better than fine, probably.
And if it goes sideways? That’s what the Tots in Tow community is here for. Come back and tell us how it went.
stay in the loop
More than updates.
A crew who gets it.
Drop your email and we'll keep you in the loop with what's happened in the community of 460,000+ parents, what's new on the site, and the occasional thing we think is genuinely worth knowing. That's it.
Weekly community recap:
The best questions, tips and conversations from our 460+ family Facebook group
New articles:
The latest from the travel advice blog, as soon as they’re live
Product updates:
New rental gear, shop additions, and restocks worth knowing about
Brand news:
New cities, new features, and where Tots in Tow is headed next
